Thursday, June 30, 2005

Here's a better view

The Darwin award goes to my neighbor. I mentioned a while ago, about how he was powerwashing his pool, thus standing in an amount of water, his child helping out. The extension cord is on the inside of the pool, not yet touching the water. It would just take one wrong move...

And if you all wanna see my Vegas photos, start at the bottom if you want the comments to make sense

Thought you boys might like to be able to manipulate a woman for once:

Don't worry, if she gets stuck, just use your mouse to continue her on her way.

For you boys on the hobo bandwagon...

Andy HoboTraveler.Com Travel Blog

Thank you

My hair looks pretty again! All thanks to Sara.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Can I, can I ... Please?

I want one. Estes Simian Space Transport Rocket Kit - 2121 (NEW! - Arrives October). That is what I call a good forward!

What sucks...

Forwards (esp. chain e-mails - nothing will happen to you if you break the chain, I promise) Amen. Rare forwards are acceptable, but not if they are the only form of communication.

Edit: This is funny though...stupid forwards.

Monday, June 27, 2005

I guess I should have taken Legal History

I had no idea the impact of the Ten Commandments on Anglo-American legal history. Nice excuse. US bans Commandments in courtroom: "The judges, however, rejected a proposal to ban Commandment displays from all public buildings. Some displays, they decided, would be permissible if they were portrayed neutrally in order to honour America's legal history."

File-sharing suffers major defeat

And other recent Supreme court (SCT) shiz. Funny, I used to talk about the SCT all the time, not realizing that those are the initials for my boy. Something musta been meant to be.

Need a break?

Go watch Land of the Dead. It's hilarious. Not quite as funny as Kung Fu Hustle (Gong fu), but both have the same amount of complete ridiculousness involved. I love when people don't take themselves too seriously and then make an entertaining movie. I like the serious ones too, but Lars Von Trier is rather difficult to wade through (especially when one just wants a brain break).

Sea monkeys are well, there are about 50-75 of them currently, only a few days old, but it is nice to see so much life in there. Sadly, the reason the last batch all died was a mysterious disease that took over the tank. I would like to get some Sea Medic, which destroys all the harmful bacteria in a tank, but it seems to be unavailable to purchase from anyone, anywhere. Messed up. So, we'll have to hope for the best with this batch. I think as long as they don't get dumped into the toilet, they may have a fighting chance.

I had an all day exam slated with the bar review course today. Alas, I chose to administer the exam myself at home. I don't know the substantive law well enough to get anything out of the exam, other than frustration and anxiety. In a move for mental health, I opted to get stuff done on my own. I have one month left before the bar. Funny, before a law school exam, I was prone to counting down the hours, and alloting what to learn based on that. The bar exam takes the same route, but this time I'm counting days. 30 hours (law school) = 30 days (bar exam). Arrrrgggghhh, so little time to learn so very much. But I'm on it.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Ah HA!

I knew it.

I was lamenting over the fact that there is NO way I can learn all this information before taking the bar. Seriously, impossible.

I thought a bit about how in "Catch Me if You Can," Frank W. Abagnale, Jr. seemed to study for the bar for 2 weeks and then pass the LA bar. I was slightly to mostly miffed by that ever since I watched the movie, and today it came back to me. So, instead of studying, I did a little research. Practicing and Evading the Law : ". . . after his third try Frank passed and received a license to practice law."

Ahhhh, now I feel better.

I love William Shatner!

This may be the funniest thing I've seen in a while: Rocket Man by William Shatner. After you watch that, check out this: Family Guy's Stewie's rendition.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Got shit to get rid of?

I read about freecycleportland on the BBC, it is a group that allows people to "recycle" household goods, clothing, appliances, etc. listing them for free giveaway. They offer it, you take it. Or you can request stuff. It's a great idea, so you don't have to throw perfectly good stuff away. One thing that annoys me - people post a LOT. So make sure you have settings to receive e-mails (if you want) in bulk, not one at a time, or your inbox will be filled instantaneously. I'm not sure I'll use it much longer, but there are some things in the basement (a lot) that need to be given away. Maybe I'll list them on here first. Anyone want a bread maker?

Friday, June 24, 2005

WOW, am I bored

Take a class in bodice making.

Friday nights

What magic does Friday night have that makes it suck so bad to have to stay home and study?

There is some excitement in the air, that permeates my walls - bbq smells, child squeals and adults laughing. I'd blow off studying if my limited group of friends wasn't also studying or already celebrating the end of their week.

And I have a pack of animals that won't leave me alone! They keep sneaking up on me, like I can't see them, trying to steal my food.

Clam jerky. HAHAHA. Vegas has it all. The even have Alien Jerky. I'm gonna have to go back just to see all the crazy shit that we missed.

Thanks to Crap

Crapartist stumbled upon this well before any of us had blogs. I stumbled upon it (I do believe with more of them) and wanted to make sure everyone had a chance to watch: G.I. Joe public service announcements

Thursday, June 23, 2005

The Onion 2056

If you haven't looked at the Onion in a while, please, follow this link. The clever, futuristic format alone makes it worth a look. The Onion 2056

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

a most productive day

Today I skipped class. It was the second in a series of three on the same subject. It is a boring subject, with a boring video professor. Instead, I stayed home and actually got something done. I finished two outlines and started a third. I did something, and was happy about it. Normally, I go to school and am so exhausted that I waste most of the rest of the day and accomplish little. I may just skip tomorrow as well and listen to the cds at home. I thought it was my lack of discipline that would make me not able to learn this, but really, I just operate differently. I do best when I teach myself stuff.

So I think I'll skip tomorrow too. The rest of the classes I have to go to, because the subjects will contain matters most important to hear live. But for now, I feel hella better about my studying abilities.

Tomorrow I will again give amazing life. Let's hope for the best for this batch.

Sorry, my life is boring. Really boring. But I'll try and share at least my mental states. I'm pretty happy and rested from my Vegas trip. Focussed and ready to learn some shit for this bar exam, which is July 26 and 27 just so you cats know what's coming up.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Return to lush

We made it back from an exciting and fun-as-hell weekend. Lots of $1 shrimp cocktails, until we were literally sick of it, then back for more. Gambled enough to know when to stop, winning about as much as we lost. Ate some good and some crappy food (no more buffets for me, ever), and saw some crazy-ass people and places. Vegas is a place quite like no other. Nor should any other place be remotely the same. I'm glad to be back where my nose isn't caked with crust and my lips and skin are again moisturized by the air. Green things growing, that is refreshing.

Basically we (from most to least frequent): drank, gambled, walked, took taxis, rode on some scary-ass rollercoasters, and slept. There was some puking in there, but we held our own. Best was winning money and finding out how to drink for free - though the latter did lead to the puking, and oddly, the burning of the roof of my mouth from some mystery liquor (I think they used dry ice for the margaritas - ouch). Stories are best told in person however, unless you have a specific question, which leads me to the one you are all asking:

I am not married. I honestly don't think that Vegas would be a place that I would want to get married. It is not a romantic place, and the process I bet would take just as long here in Portland. Let the dolling out of the pool proceeds begin.

Back to the studying, and now I've got a hella lot to catch up on (yeah, like I was really gonna open a book when I was there). New batch of sea monkeys are being prepared, hatching to take place tomorrow. They'll carry me through these next few weeks of hell.

Oh my, what a weekend of debauchery!

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Save NPR and PBS

Sign this I know most of you enjoy either PBS or NPR - so DO IT!

Tuesday, June 14, 2005


Hello folks, I will be in Vegas from tomorrow until late Sunday. Amen.

Monday, June 13, 2005


To settle a domestic dispute:

Who thinks it is creepy for guests to sleep in your bed?

With the following details:
1. You have a guest bed upstairs (no problem for most people).
2. The guests in your house (who cannot sleep upstairs) have plenty of cash for a hotel.

This concerns two sets of people, neither ( a single person, and a couple) with the excuse of cat allergies to get them out of sleeping upstairs.

Disclaimer: I have slept in other's beds, so I'm a hypocrite. However, I only do so when my host insists. I would much rather sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor, because I do not mind. Maybe I'm too considerate. Or maybe others just are not. Still the question remains.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Evil thoughts

Sundays are to be quiet. One of the religions I grew up in, dutch reformed christian calvinists, didn't allow any activity on Sundays. One town in the area which was full of these folks, had ordinances that cars and lawnmowers were strictly forbidden on the Sabbath. They were horrible hypocrites, but that is another story.

Today, my neighbor who blissfully never uses the outdoors except as a conduit to the car and to the store to feed his fat face, decides to power wash his pool, presumably for the pleasure of his (?) incredibly annoying children. They are so afraid of the outdoors that they only spend
30-45 seconds per day in the backyard to feed the dog. The dog only knows the backyard.

For the thought that the boys and Satan would be proud of:
I am currently upstairs, watching the process from my desk. The man is standing in a half-foot of water, and the daughter has just stepped into the pool. The cord of the powerwasher is attached to an extension cord, the connection of which is draped over the side of the pool, mere inches from disaster. I can't look away.

I hope the birds poop in the pool and the squirrels drop apples into it, for the headache I now possess.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Talk about minimum competency!

I took the BBC quiz, not checking any boxes, so I could quickly see the proper answers. My grade, for checking NO boxes:

You got 0 right!
"D" grade. Could do better

WOW, for nothing, I get a passing grade. Hmmmm, maybe that will work for the bar?

And to make me feel even better.

Cows are wild animals!

BBC NEWS Africa 'Killer cow' arrested in Nigeria

Thursday, June 09, 2005

How is it?

That I can fall asleep at the mere mention of "Convisor Mini Review" and yet, when I read a novel, even Kafka's "Amerika" I can be alert and persistent for hours. (I'm not saying anything bad about Kafka, I do love him dearly, however I assumed it would put me to sleep in a pleasant manner though dense manner. That's why I love him, just beautiful.) Seriously, I would look for some prescription uppers, may have to soon, caffine isn't working so well anymore.

Had a bit of a breakdown today. I'm really tired of this shit and my stamina is wearing thin. I snapped in a very crazy lady manner because S had one friend over. I don't care that people have fun when I have to work, I'm used to it from law school.

It's kinda like when I was young, and I had to clean the entire house. Nothing, absolutely nothing irritated me more than my little brother sitting in the same room and either playing video games or even just doing nothing. I didn't snap because I didn't want him to be happy, I just can't stand the happiness of others when I am so miserable. I would rather just not be in the same space. Is that terrible? I am not sure, but I really cannot help it.

I was genuinely happy for the friend's last day of class, yet I was so angry about what I had to do, and getting so little done that I just had to distance myself. And then I'm even more angry because the easiest, most logical solution would be for me to really stay at the library for 11 hours a day, but that truly seems cruel and unusual punishment. I like being at home. I just get less done and feel hella shitty about it. So, I read a novel today. Oh well. I'll figure this out, likely just as it is about to be over. I'm postive again, but frustrated, mostly at myself taking this out on others. I'm not attentive to my friend's needs anymore. I promise people, there will be a day when I have a job just like everyone else and I can enjoy my time.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Evidently Dubya didn't hear Dean Huffman's commencement speech

Bush Lifts Ban On Vigilantism "In a striking departure from centuries of American belief in rule of law, President Bush gave his approval Monday to a limited experiment in public vigilantism "to see if it works."

It's official!

I am a sea monkey killer. They've all died. So, I'm gonna order another kit, keeping this one out of the reach of cats. I'm rather optimistic. But I will wait until after Vegas, so no one has to take care of them.

I can't really think of anything else interesting, but here's a rundown of current events:

I walked out of my bar review lecture today. It was useless, pointless and it was a much better use of my time to leave. I still suck at the multiple choice questions, at least the million that I took today, but I have never taken the class entitled Evidence before, so that may be a factor. No excuse for the other ones.

To enable my evenings to be as mind numbing as possible (after 10 hours of studying), Steve just got Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas. I'm excited, especially since cable TV has finally been cancelled in this house. We've been talking about it for a while, but it has now been done. I just hope that it isn't turned off before the season opener of Reno 911. Now my entertainment will consist of video games and books. Likely more of the latter.

I thought that it would be a good idea to get into contact with some of my friends from high school and my brother and sister, thinking this summer I would have time to communicate with them, catch up. Alas, bar review is more work than I could have ever imagined. I'm always tired. Thus, I welcome them to my blog, so they may see how cynical about life and obsessed with sea monkeys I am. Hello folks.

So, a recent lawyer joke brought to my attention: what does a sperm and a lawyer have in common? Let's hear you try...answer will be provided in a couple of days...and pjr, you are disqualified from answering, but feel free to post other jokes.

On a good, ego-boosting note (which I can really use right now), my old boss emailed me asking for a copy of my paper on Oregon property tax that I wrote for my A paper. He wants the new clerks to have an idea of how things work. I think I spoiled him in my exuberance of tax law. Or perhaps he would like a reference document? hmmm, that makes me feel useful.

So....the lawyer joke - think of an answer. I'm gonna try and make this a more interactive blog.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005


Well, I will not be posting much for the next couple of months. While studying for finals my computer is always on my lap, and distractions are necessary. No more. I'm at school from 9:00 am until 8:00 pm every day, studying my rump off. I don't take my computer with me so that I am not distracted. Then I come home and ignore the world. Sorry to those of you that have just joined my readership and those that are faithful. Likely though, most of you are gonna be outta commission for a while too. So, a blog break. But before I go....

A seamonkey update: The lone survivor of the toilet incident has passed on. There is one critter left, about a week old. I'm gonna get new materials and start over from scratch, adding the new guy to the batch of course. Wish me better luck this time. Any survivors will be my bar buddies for life.

So, that's that...catch you all on the flip side...

Friday, June 03, 2005

A green thumb

is something we are not gifted with. Steve has planted a couple of beds of different veges, one of which is growing wonderfully, peas and flowers. The other is doing poorly, likely we will rip it up and replant. We did however plant one row that is doing amazingly well - something called "spring mix," a variety of lettuces. Well, the leaves all look odd, not at all like salad greens. The boys tried the leaves last night, one spitting green goo for several spits. We discovered the spring mix to be carrots and radishes. Thank goodness we hadn't yet made a salad.

Correction: they are the newest, trendiest salad greens available, served in the fanciest, trendiest restaurants. They contain mustard, radish, and several other varieties. Hmmm, not seemingly for a whole salad, but for fancy toppings to cracker spreads and additions to salads. Anyone of you super-bougsie types out know who you are....come and get 'em, cuz I ain't eatin' 'em.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

I do believe,

that my readers will enjoy this collection of stories from Chuck Palahniuk's devoted fans. Some are pretty F'd up, the rest are funny. Most involve drugs or alcohol, and I know you all like those. Also, it's a great way to wile away the hours that should be spent working or studying: it's a 222 page .pdf file.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Who wants to go to Europe?

WOW, the Euro is sucking!Further research needs to be done to determine if the dollar is actually doing well....any takers?

well, well

My lone seamonkey is still alive. I took Meg's advice and looked up some PH information on the interweb. I found a recipe for common brine shrimp, mixed up some water and salt and added the mixture to the remaining toilet water/original mix, and assumed the worst. Well, he has remained alive, though an interesting shade of red. I also just located a new baby seamonkey that decided to hatch. So there is hope.

My life is currently rather boring. I have class at 9:00 every morning, and now that I am carpooling, leave at 8:15, which means I actually get there on time. Class is boring, but rather motivating as I get to see how little I actually know. Likely I will have to commence typing to get my notes organized into outlines. As I have so far been slacking on the homework, I must start with the practice tests and learning the substantive information. SO much to learn, so little time, and I still just want to take a nap. If I can just figure a way to take a really short nap and still be motivated to get work done, that is the ticket.

I ran the other day. It was lovely, and hard and nice to feel the burn the next day. I also went canoeing on Monday, which was fun though a bit of an ordeal, as it is tough to coordinate the strokes. I also skateboarded twice last weekend and only fell that once, my knee is much better after a reluctant ice and rest treatment. Very little bruising. So, life isn't so bad, just filled with dread and apprehension because I'm not doing what I should to prepare for the bar. Oh well, that is certainly nothing new.

Graduation was wonderful, with Erin B. giving a nice, humble and inspiring speech. I know that I may not be brilliant, but just sticking to something is what it is all about. I still wish I was brilliant. My diploma is framed and hanging above the TV in the living room. I like to look at it. I'm rather proud of having accomplished graduating. Though a bit silly, I don't care if others can take it for granted that they would have graduated. For me, it was a major life accomplishment and I'll display my diploma and use J.D. after my name all I want. It's mine, bitches. I haven't been handed shit in my life and my struggle I will note as I wish.

The Dean's speech at the end of commencement was LAME! I was baking in my black robes and was dying to pee, not paying attention when I heard something to the gist of, "Dare I say, slavery was not the most proud moment of our country." Hell no it wasn't. Damn. He drolled on about how horrible the world is and how great we have it. Not at all inspiring. Neither was the best grade getter's speech. Thank god for Erin B. and her jokes about her boobs, though I could have done a bit less with the movie references, though I guess that is what most people want.

Well, back to work.