Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Still sick

I am still amazingly ill. Stress took its toll, and left me in the dust. I'm back to bed.

'Fully Loaded' Shotgun Shell Chair - Gizmodo

When is Stephen's birthday?

'Fully Loaded' Shotgun Shell Chair - Gizmodo

One Bag (all about packing, luggage, and travelling light)

One Bag (all about packing, luggage, and travelling light)

Put Wikipedia on your iPod - Lifehacker

Put Wikipedia on your iPod - Lifehacker

Another cross

This site has some interesting things for sale, including gold pills to make your poop sparkle and a gold-coated pen cap for your coke habit.

CITIZEN:citizen : store:
"Patricks wooden cross shaped
scrubbing brush. Ideal for commercial
and domestic environments. An
ironic appropriation of symbolism that
puts into question our notion of the
sacred.
Cleanliness is next to godliness"

Saturday, February 25, 2006

sick

due to either router or modem failure, our internet connection is tenative at best.

I am fine, took the exam and am done with it.

Now I have a cold, the same that everyone else has. To awake with this morning, i'm having tea with whiskey and honey.

Back to normal soon

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

exquisite torture

Question number 5 of Oregon Bar Exam:

Describe the Federal Income Tax consequences . . .

Monday, February 20, 2006

Lamps of disaster

Boing Boing: More commemorative lamps of doom: Three Mile Island

They also have a link to the lovely 9/11 lamp, which I think some of you will find interesting.

Madness and some therapy

First, I like the idea of the Jackhammer Jesus, though now every time I see a crucifix I shudder a bit. I heard a story this weekend of a very Christian girl, married to a preacher's son, who has a Jesus fish tattooed onto her "come shot spot" (lower back). Makes me wonder whether the Jackhammer Jesus is for irony and those who hate religion/Jesus or for those that really, really just can't get enough of him.

Surprise birthday party for Steve went off without a hitch this weekend, that is, except for leaving me extremely exhausted. Keeping a secret for a month, lying and scheming is difficult and tiring. I will not do it again. He, however, can no longer complain that he's never had a surprise birthday thrown for him (or that no one loves him). Pictures after the bar exam (at least the ones that won't shock).

I'm taking the bar exam tomorrow and Wednesday. I'm trying very hard to keep myself calm and collected and making sure that I do not allow panic to take over. I've become accepting of the fact that I just do not learn well by memorizing long and complicated lists of things. I'm more of a reference librarian. I can find you an answer lickety-split, any answer. But until I actually tinker with something in the concrete, I will not necessarily have it locked in my head.

Most of the lawyers I know remember nothing of the materials that are so very fundamental to the practice of law. That the bar exam tests in this manner (memorizing long lists of factors), seems to be a bit ridiculous. I realize it is a rite of passage. Not so sure that I have ever wanted to be a member of that club. But, like the kids on the Olympics, I'm gonna give it another try, and see what happens.

I've been mostly concerned lately with how I will seem to those that I know, that know I'm taking the bar exam for the second time. I've already failed it once and no one seems to hold that against me (except my roommate, whom I know would like a little more income in the house).

I don't know what people will think if I don't make it this time. I didn't study as hard as I should have. I definitely did more this time than last July, but I feel like I just didn't spend enough time drilling shit into my head. And I didn't want to. I don't want to. I will not take this exam again, at least not in this state, or within the foreseeable future. I am likely not supposed to be an attorney (an advocate, yes, pjr, I see that now). I see others around me that are made for the job. I just wanted the skills. I have them, and have paid for them. I will not allow this exam to define me, and if anyone has a problem with that then please remove yourself from my circle of friends. ( I know I sound touchy, but that is because of the amazing amount of pressure I am currently under.)

After this week though, I'm gonna start looking for a job (while finishing painting V's house). I need to work. That's all I've ever wanted in the last 3.5 years, and I'm gonna have that now. Pay my bills and eat some food. So, keep me in mind when you hear of possibilities. I'll do anything at this point, but I still think I have some pretty marketable skills. I just need to discover that job that will work for me. And any advice as to things that I should look into (that do not require more education/debt) would be most welcome. I'm at a loss right now as to what I should do, where I should apply. But that's all for next week. (And I will still be applying for jobs for attorneys. I haven't lost all hope or I would just stay home tomorrow).

Right now, I have to make sure my external hard drive works, and get all the things together that I will need for the Olympics of the mind.

Thanks for listening, and please, DO NOT ASK ME HOW THINGS WENT. If I wanna talk about it I'll let you know. Let's just pretend that this whole thing never happened, ok? If you want to know how I am, ask about the job search, as that is what is currently most important in my life.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

jackhammer jesus

Here's one especially for GS!

jackhammer jesus

Warning: explicit, and likely offensive to most.

Today's items

I. Little Russian workers

These pictures are awesome. They are little guys are working on all sorts of things...painting mushrooms, skating. Pretty neato stuff. Sorry about the lack of pics on my site, just don't have the time.

II. Zicplay iPod Remote with LCD Screen - Gizmodo

Pretty:

Zicplay iPod Remote with LCD Screen - Gizmodo

III. Gorillas, conservation and Great Sandwich!

That's what I thought of when I saw this:

Old Cell Phones Save Gorillas, Kind of - Gizmodo

IV. Check out that guy first

This sounds like something plm could sign up for. I really like the comments on this post. Obviously the predominant commenter of Lifehacker is male and rather insecure. I'll perhaps make sure any male I date in the future is not a Lifehacker reader. I'll never understand all the issues stemming from external genitalia. Perhaps I'll get me some and write a book. In the meantime....

Check his "dating credit report" before you meet - Lifehacker


V. This is pretty damn funny - a cat is looking for love, and Bronson Pinchot is in it.

YouTube - Valentine for Perfect Strangers

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Robot Gossip: Scientsists Let Slime Mold Control Robot Spider

Robot Gossip: Scientsists Let Slime Mold Control Robot Spider: "As the slime tried to get away from the light its movement was sensed by the circuit and used to control one of the robot's six legs. The robot then scrabbled away from bright lights as a mechanical embodiment of the mould."

Robot Gossip: Robot Rodent

Robot Gossip: Robot Rodent: "It looks and acts just like a real guinea pig - except for the pellets.
It has moods: fearful, curious, happy and sleepy."

Pig-Shaped Vacuum: Why Not? - Gizmodo

Pig-Shaped Vacuum: Why Not? - Gizmodo: "Who needs that tired old Dirt Devil when you can have a Crumb Pet. "

LG 5 Megapixel KG920 - Gizmodo

LG 5 Megapixel KG920 - Gizmodo: "This LG, full-featured swivel cameraphone has a whopping 5-megapixel camera with built-in flash and a nice big display for image viewing. Other features include a MP3 player, miniSD memory card slot and Bluetooth."

Get vacation advice from your friends - Lifehacker

Get vacation advice from your friends - Lifehacker

Podcasts of bands coming to your town - Lifehacker

Podcasts of bands coming to your town - Lifehacker

Adoption

So, being so busy lately, trying to learn all there is about law that matters only for the bar, I only allow myself a short amount of time in the A.M. to surf the web. However, there are many things that catch my eye, so I'm using this blog to cache the links. Perhaps you'll find some of them interesting.

I'm doing well otherwise, mostly looking forward to this next week being completed. Next week, in about 6 hours, I'll be done with the bar exam, and drunk. In the meantime, I've got some cramming to do.

On a lighter note, Valentine's day was lovely. With the mandate to do nothing, there was only a little bit less fanfare than usual (namely, no flowers). However I did collect my booty of candy and treats and then fondue for dinner. Mmmmmmmmmmmm. ( I got flowers before he left for Mexico, so all is well).

Even more exciting, is that St. Carl's birthday is tomorrow and finally I can give him his presents, which I've had sitting in my basement for nearly a month. Furthermore, we have a trip to the coast planned for the weekend of MY birthday. Lovely. I can't wait to take the time to breathe and enjoy. I often find myself forgetting to breathe these days.

Out for now

Disable Gmail Talk popups Greasemonkey script - Lifehacker

Disable Gmail Talk popups Greasemonkey script - Lifehacker

Bluetooth: Get Ready to Roomba - Gizmodo

Bluetooth: Get Ready to Roomba - Gizmodo: "First those kooky guys at MAKE figured out how to control robot-vac Roomba with a laptop. But that used an old-fashioned serial cable. Now they’ve figured out how to run the thing wirelessly with Bluetooth."

360 Camera Remains Stationary While Top Rotates - Gizmodo

360 Camera Remains Stationary While Top Rotates - Gizmodo: "Cedric Tay of Yanko Design has dreamed up this 360 Camera, a cylindrical digital camera whose top section rotates to take a series of panoramic pictures while its bottom section remains stationary. "

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

D*I*Y Planner 3.0 (Classic/A5 Edition) | D*I*Y Planner

I'm always making my own planner in Word or on paper. I hate stock ones because they either don't have enough space or just don't have the features I need. The internets once again has found a solution. I'll be working on this after the bar exam.

D*I*Y Planner 3.0 (Classic/A5 Edition) | D*I*Y Planner: "a set of free do-it-yourself templates, covers, documentation and other gear for creating your own highly customised paper planner system. A year in the making, this new version includes nearly 200 pages of forms covering life management, calendars, project planning, note-taking, health, finance, and even creative uses like writing, storyboards, and web design. With some basic supplies, the handbook, and a little elbow grease, you can create an ideal low-cost productivity system that meets almost every need."

Fast-food toilet-water has less bacteria than their drinks-ice

Boing Boing: A Directory of Wonderful Things: "A seventh-grade student in New Tampa, FL, compared the water in fast food restaurants' toilets to the water used in their drinks-ice and concluded that the ice was higher in bacteria than the toilets. 12-year-old Jasmine Roberts won her school science fair for her research and hopes to win the county prize this week."

Monday, February 13, 2006

Watch...

Watch...

Google Talk RULEZ!

Seriously, PLM just phoned me on the computer, and while I couldn't talk because of no microphone on my computer, her voice was amazingly clear. I was able to hear her much clearer than when I called her a bit later (because I couldn't type fast enough).

Also, I'd like to give a shout out to PLM for making me a bar survival kit, with earplugs, bandaids, ibuprofen, tigerbalm patches, gum, eyeglasses repair kit, nalgene, tampons, bouncy balls and much more. What a lovely thought, that will be used with much thanks.

No time to surf the net today, or at least no time to comment on it. I did notice though that boingboing has an amazing selection of good articles today. Check it out.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

A Char flashback

Lookie what I've found on the amazing internets.

I'll provide links when I've been given permission. Otherwise, ya'll have to figure it out for yourselves.

I'd give some dough to see the link regarding "Fucking Caps."

Sadly, much is unavailable...yet the gist and heart are there.

Check out that sneer!

Update: I've been given permission. Click on the photo for instant access. Warning: content will be offensive to most readers.

Explanation:

There's a little thing called the wayback machine (through the internet archives), that has cached every website of all time. So, a quick search for nightsoil.com came up with some interesting images. This is for you: Great Sandwich, Crapartist, Mr. Hands, your fans and the fans of Char, past and present. 2001 is the only year that has any substance, after that the site was allowed to lapse.

Too cheap to buy a Mac?

And have always drooled over the look and feel of the Mac OS X or whatever they call it?

Here you go, for windows.

Update: ah, mere puffery. All that pretty neat lookin stuff just ain't that great.

Later update: I'm figuring things out, and it is pretty cool.

Finally

Here is a search engine for stores in the Portland area. Now you can look up whether Albertsons on the highway has applesauce in that kind you like. Just needed are Fred Meyer and New Seasons to join in.

Cairo.com Portland: Local Sales, Deals, Discounts, and Shopping

Attn: Hair Dressers and outdoors folk

All the good stuff that they couldn't take on the plain...yours for cheap! Evidently a lot of people take barber shears with them.

eBay - ntsa, Sewing, Knives, Swords Blades items on eBay.com

Linksys WIP300 VoIP Handset

Slap me, and call me silly, I guess NEXT WEEK. ahh, freedom.

Gizmodo, The Gadget Blog: "Seems we can look forward to a new Linksys VoIP handset by next week. The WIP300 uses any 802.11b/g Wi-Fi network, includes a POP email facility and has 1.8” color display—but it’s going to cost you. The phone runs for $250 (when was the last time you spent that much on a non-cellular phone? 1982?), which Linksys claims it has actually marked down from $300. Thanks a lot guys."

Friday, February 10, 2006

Health insurance

Well, I guess if I want to have health insurance through the Oregon Health Plan, I need to get pregnant.

The only thing I can say to that option is that it is so unattractive (time, money, committment), that I'd be willing to figure out a way to pay for insurance myself. Which would be easier if I could even pay rent. Or buy food.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

and the argh goes on....

Amazing spam!

I received an email, from the "IRS." And, well, you know me...

They want me to click on the link to see where my refund is. Smelling a rat, I went fishing....

Their site is amazing. Here's the address: http://www.irs.gov/whereismyrefund/
Looks real, with a different address when you hover. The site itself is wonderful, creating the exact look and feel of the IRS site. Except a few things that are a bit different. Namely, the top is cropped off and the main logo doesn't have a hyperlink to the main site. All the other buttons actually take you to the IRS site. Brilliant. The best part is the information they ask for:

First Name::
Last Name :
Social Security Number:
Credit Card Number :
Expiration Date:
ATM PIN: ( 4 digits code )


You have to do a side-by-side comparison (here's the real site) to see how well done this phishing expedition is, but I cannot figure out how to do screen shots right now. And I won't because I'm back to the books.

Super lenses

About damn time for this too. Superman was able to see a skeleton in the wall last night on Smallville, otherwise Chloe would have gone to the funny farm. Whew!

Boing Boing: A Directory of Wonderful Things: "Smart lenses for super vision
Ron Blum is an ophthalmologist who is developing eyeglass lenses that apparently can give the wearer super vision. The system is based on 'intelligent' lenses made up of electronically-controlled 'pixels' that can be discretely adjusted. Blum claims that his PixelOptics lenses will not only correct the wearer's vision but could also boost it to better than 20/20, possibly even better than 20/10. Blum's company just scored a $3.5 million Department of Defense grant to build a prototype that he hopes will be ready in a year."

The Wired Article

More doll heads

For some reason, I know people that like creepy doll heads. Here is a creepy, mutilated doll head that is a lamp base. You'll wanna see the lampshade too.

Creepy, but only $35! Click on the photo for the site.

Update: only one left.

WiFi Calls on Cellphones: Coming Soon

About damn time.

Gizmodo, The Gadget Blog: "Philips has announced that sometime next year, a US cellphone carrier will be using its Nexperia 6120 chipset to allow you to make calls on home WiFi networks—for a flat rate of a few dollars a month. Already in the Samsung SGH-T709 phone, the UMA solution uses Philips’ BGW211 802.11g WLAN chipset and allows you to go from a WiFi access point through the Internet and onto a cellular network. Carriers can then track those calls with their billing system and move them along to their destination."

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Free GOLDEN RETRIEVER puppies

Free because they don't exist! But I like the pics, so I'm leaving them up. I can't believe how much this mum looks like Fife.


The Dark Side Of Oz


Be sure to print the list of 142 matches to follow along with in amazement. Enjoy it with your friends. And don't forget your medication...

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Sointula Co-op fairy


Sointula Co-op
Originally uploaded by jkf.
Everyone told us that there were amazing gems in the upstairs of the Co-op on the little island of Sointula off the northern tip of Vancouver Island. I did find a great hat, but this collection of fairies was too good not to take an embarassing picture. There were many more off to the sides. Amazing. And random.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Netscape

Hmmm, Netscape huh? A little Bird told me to give it a try. It does have that tabbing feature that I do enjoy so much. I'm still thinking about it, because Firefox is open source and something that if I ever have time, I can learn how to alter as I wish. But will I, need I ever do that? I don't know.

One thing about Firefox that I like is the idea of open source, simply because it is more anti-corporation, and that is satisifying. If Netscape allows me to get my windows updates without opening Explorer (another annoying Firefox limitation, or Windows limitation), I'm in, at least for now. I'll have to determine if that is possible.

However, once we get Linux set up on the home computers, then Microsoft/Netscape/Explorer, the establishment can kiss my ass (at least at home).

Oh, and some Mexico pictures should be up soon...boobop is home from Mexico (via Bush airport in Houston) in a few hours. YEAY, someone to talk to.

Tick Twister

No more morning surgery on a picnic table in the California woods, extracting ticks out of the crotches of my companions with olive oil and tweezers. Cool Tool: Tick Twister

Monday, February 06, 2006

Through A Glass Productions - Extras

Fight Club as a romantic comedy.

It's pretty good.

Also, Rollerderby RULEZ! If you missed it, make sure you get tickets in advance, bring a flask and get there early next time. You'll not be disappointed. If only I could throw beer.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Someone's must read list for literature

Here is a list that came up on my Google rss feed. I consider myself somewhat of an accomplished reader of literature, much more so than of fiction.

This list should be titled "Most boring reads in Literature." Must read them? I've read them all, and I think this list would be something that I would put together if I wanted to convince someone to never read another book. "Here, after this list you can read whatever you want." If that were my mandate, I would not do it. Television would be sufficient. Heck, there is always David Attenborough for mental stimulation.

Dubliners? Middlemarch? Really? Did this person actually read The Lord of the Rings? Booooooooring. Watch the movies. The only one I can recommend is The Voyage Out, but that's likely because I'm an ardent Woolf fan. Don Quijote is pretty good too, but please, the abridged version.

Rereading the list, they are some good classics. I just wouldn't put them on a list for others to look at as MUST reads. I think this would turn off more people than turn them on to reading. Unless they are unemployed, independently wealthy and enjoy torture. This type of list is only good for those that have read them all, so that they can gloat about it.

That said, what is your must read list? Nevermind, because I'm not going to read DUNE. Again, booooooring. Try some Kafka or Sommerset Maugham. That's scintillating . . . to me. Ah, to each his own I guess. I think we can all realize however that our favorites cannot necessarily be a must read for very many others. If a book really touches you, I mean reallllly touches you, then it is not likely a book for everyone, unless you are everyman. That said, what books do you think others really should read? And why? Not like anyone will answer, so I'll come up with and post a list when I'm back on planet earth. In the meantime....

Readers, I'm taking a break from the internet. I will have to check in every couple of days to keep a handle on email and those pesky bills, but otherwise, I'm taking the wireless card out of my laptop, and not turning on the main computer except to do the above-mentioned chores.

Wish me well with my bar exam immersion. Soon I will return to do battle with the most important endeavor of my life....the real-life, adult, career-defining, job search.

"Must Reads in Literature"

Here is a list that came up on my Google rss feed. I consider myself somewhat of an accomplished reader of literature, much more so than of fiction.

This list should be titled "Most boring reads in Literature." Must read them? I've read them all, and I think this list would be something that I would put together if I wanted to convince someone to never read another book. "Here, after this list you can read whatever you want." If that were my mandate, I would not do it. Television would be sufficient. Heck, there is always David Attenborough.

Dubliners? Middlemarch? Really? Did this person actually read The Lord of the Rings? Booooooooring. Watch the movies. The only one I can recommend is The Voyage Out, but that's likely because I'm an ardent Woolf fan. Don Quijote is pretty good too, but please, the abridged version.

Rereading the list, they are some good classics. I just wouldn't put them on a list for others to look at as MUST reads. I think this would turn off more people than turn them on to reading. This type of list is only good for those that have read them all, so that they can gloat about it.

That said, what is your must read list? Nevermind, because I'm not going to read DUNE. Again, booooooring. Try some Kafka or Sommerset Maugham. That's scintillating . . . to me. Ah, to each his own I guess. I think we can all realize however that our favorites cannot necessarily be a must read for very many others. If a book really touches you, I mean reallllly touches you, then it is not likely a book for everyone, unless you are everyman. That said, what books do you think others really should read? And why? Not like anyone will answer, so I'll come up with and post a list when I'm back on planet earth. In the meantime....

Readers, I'm taking a break from the internet. I will have to check in every couple of days to keep a handle on email and those pesky bills, but otherwise, I'm taking the wireless card out of my laptop, and not turning on the main computer except to do the above-mentioned chores.

Wish me well with my bar exam immersion. Soon I will return to do battle with the most important endeavor of my life....the job search.

"Must Reads in Literature"

Here is a list that came up on my Google rss feed. I consider myself somewhat of an accomplished reader of literature, much more so than of fiction.

This list should be titled "Most boring reads in Literature." Must read them? I've read them all, and I think this list would be something that I would put together if I wanted to convince someone to never read another book. "Here, after this list you can read whatever you want." If that were my mandate, I would not do it. Television would be sufficient. Heck, there is always David Attenborough.

Dubliners? Middlemarch? Really? Did this person actually read The Lord of the Rings? Booooooooring. Watch the movies. The only one I can recommend is The Voyage Out, but that's likely because I'm an ardent Woolf fan. Don Quijote is pretty good too, but please, the abridged version.

Rereading the list, they are some good classics. I just wouldn't put them on a list for others to look at as MUST reads. I think this would turn off more people than turn them on to reading. This type of list is only good for those that have read them all, so that they can gloat about it.

That said, what is your must read list? Nevermind, because I'm not going to read DUNE. Again, booooooring. Try some Kafka or Sommerset Maugham. That's scintillating . . . to me. Ah, to each his own I guess. I think we can all realize however that our favorites cannot necessarily be a must read for very many others. If a book really touches you, I mean reallllly touches you, then it is not likely a book for everyone, unless you are everyman. That said, what books do you think others really should read? And why? Not like anyone will answer, so I'll come up with and post a list when I'm back on planet earth. In the meantime....

Readers, I'm taking a break from the internet. I will have to check in every couple of days to keep a handle on email and those pesky bills, but otherwise, I'm taking the wireless card out of my laptop, and not turning on the main computer except to do the above-mentioned chores.

Wish me well with my bar exam immersion. Soon I will return to do battle with the most important endeavor of my life....the job search.

D-day

Operation BirdBath has commenced.

If the camera wasn't in Mexico, I'd show you my new plethora of bird feeders.

Now, I need ideas for a material that blocks light, is lightweight, and can be attached to a clothesline.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Why is Firefox so unsafe?

Someone told me that the main reason they use Firefox is for security reasons. No one targets Firefox and they have the best security for a browser.

I started using Firefox for this reason. I soon forgot about that reason because I fell in love with its usability.

However, I'm quickly falling out of love with it because I have not had nearly the amount of security breaches with IE that I have had since I started using Firefox.

Today, I received a phone call to my cell phone from a time share company, that I saw the name of on a site earlier in the day.

That never happened to me before, and kinda freaked me out.

Last week I had to uninstall all adobe programs and all printers in order to recover my computer from a Firefox extension that was supposed to make opening adobe files easier.

So far, Firefox has been a pain in the ass. I still like that bookmark toolbar though, and the tabbed pages. I'm currently running ad-aware and spy-bot to see what I come up with. Then I guess I'll be running a Norton full scan too. I don't like the waste of time. Anyone with any ideas? Am I doing something wrong with Firefox?

I feel like I've taken the condom off of my computer.

AM Update: viruses and adware and spyware all over the place. I'm pretty close to switching back to the IE team.

Musings made last night

Here is another of the fact patterns that I get to read:

"A movie, Last Rhumba in Havana, was critically acclaimed and received the coveted Golden Bratwurst award at the Sheboygan International Film Festival."

My boobop left for Mexico. One week with the family time-share. I'll get to go next time. For now, I get to stay home and have the house to myself. Well, me and Fife and Chloe and Jack. I'm planning on spending the whole time, gazing lovingly at the computer. I wonder what the animals think of us, watching TV or working on the computer. Especially me. I spend hours staring. And I think about how they basically do the same. I wonder what they are working at, what exam they are preparing for.

Plm (that's peglegmeg for those of you who aren't in the in) came over last night and made me chicken pot pie. Baxter came over too, to visit with Fife. PLM was gracious enough to listen to a lot of ramblings on many a subject. I forgot how nice it is to talk to people that don't live at my house. I have to get out more. We reminisced on the good old days (law school), which we realize we are VERY glad are behind us. What a hellish experience. Not recommended. And if I had known all I do now, I'd have been a superstar. I guess it helps to be humble and accept help from the beginning. Damn pride.

Oh, and new pics of Sam are up. He's exercising. I can't wait to meet the little guy.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

I will die if someone doesn't provide me with complete and undivided attention

Dear mum,

What? You have something else to do? Well, I'll just bark then until I exhaust myself, or you pay attention to me, whichever comes first.

I know you took me for an unprecedented walk this morning, but I want more, and now. And a walk later too.

If dad isn't coming home for a week, I must be played with by you. So get to it.

-Fife

P.S. If find Chloe in my bed one more time, I'm gonna bark at her until she leaves. In fact, I'm just gonna bark at both of the cats until they leave forever, because they are stealing my spotlight. Assholes.