Thursday, July 28, 2005

My new life

The best part is that everyday seems like a Friday, with an endless weekend ahead of me. I'm going to enjoy it as much as I can. This weekend to the woods to regroup and get the Portland blues outta my system. Then next week, a bit of manual labor, painting great sandwich!'s house. Yep, I was a house painter in my last life. We will prove to the world that we are capable. We cleaned the exterior of the house today, and bought a bunch of goodies for the project. Likely this time next week I will have acquired a tan, have sweated out all the bar studying toxins, and hopefully lost those pesky bar pounds. That, will make me so much happier.

I have had no ability to surf the net for anything funny, nor to find out what is going on in the world, next week, perhaps. Although I would like to give a shout out to Marvin Gaye for loving me so much through the bar studying process and to Steve McQueen for being such a HOT actor.

Howdy folks

I'm so tired. Not necessarily physically, because I slept 12 hours last night. My exhaustion is of the mental and emotional type. Those are going to take a bit more time to recover from. Alas, the recovery is beginning, as the television is going to not be on, continuously, for as long as this takes. In the meantime, let's drink, I have some brain cells to kill.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005


So, I've taken the bar, and sadly, after an initial high, am reeling from shock. Likely a good night sleep will do me well. I haven't slept in a couple.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Here's something funny for you kids

I just slammed my right (write) hand into the table, resulting in searing nerve pain for about 1/2 hour. It still hurts to write and type and I hella hope it goes away quickly. HAHAHAHAHA. Ah, the irony. Futhermore, I would like to take this opportunity to bow out of blogging for a few days. I have a bar exam to take, after which I will have alcohol to drink and a bed to sleep in for days. Amen.

I also get to pick up the boy from the airport tonight. I've been conditioned through a former long-term, long-distance relationship to become incredibly nervous and antsy when dropping or picking up a loved one at the airport. I was unable to take S to the airport last Wed., because I had made myself sick worrying about his departure (I know, it was only for a weekend, but the conditioning, remember). And now, four hours before he will even arive, my tummy is a mess and I'm refreshing JetBlue's flight tracker every five minutes (he's currently over WI). Studying? Har, har. The best part is that he will be completely unaware (until reading this) that I'm in such a state of anxiety. So I will make a fool of myself at the airport.

As for the bar exam, I'm kinda excited today. The largest test of my mettle thus far in my life will shortly take place. Kinda like the Olympics for nerds. Sweet, I'm goin for the gold. USAUSAUSA! Thank you, it is really just an honor to be here today, to compete against all of these amazing other nerdy-nerds, I'll do my best with the tools I have and the result will be the result. I have a JD, beyotches.

Saturday, July 23, 2005


If you type in Jailed Susanne Summers into Google, my blog is the first hit. Hmmm. That raises so many questions.

More amazing: is the food one can get at Mexi-truck, on the corner of Killingsworth and Delaware. Go there, the tortillas are hand-made and I am always impressed with the price and quality of their food. Plus, they are now selling Mexi-cowboy hats and boots and FABULOUS shirts that you must see.

Most amazing of all: see who else is interested in My Sea Monkeys, you'll see I'm among wonderful company. He's filled his P2P entirely with porn too! Crapartist, is that you?)

Check out this sweet logo:

A collection of most hilarious Craig's listings

You will enjoy this. These are essays and commentaries on the absurdity of human nature through Craig's List.

That's it!

I've wasted all day today, being hella angry about having to learn Civil Procedure. Didn't help that the esteemed professor that taught it during the bar review course obviously had somewhere else to be. So, because I have wasted so much time not doing anything (when I could have indulged in a spa day), I will now stay up until this is finished, I WILL KNOW CIV PRO!

I'm so tired of this. Burnt the hell out. Need a break. I've searched blogs this evening with the little "next blog" button and have further data for my theory that everyone's life sucks pretty much equally. So, next time you think you gots it so bad, just go right ahead and bitch about it as much as you want. Everyone else does. Just stop bitchin about everyone else bitchin. Hell, the ability to be frustrated with this pathetic society that we've created for ourselves is one of the few rights we still have. Oh no you can't take that away from me.

And I've tried to find funny links for you folks to try out the new email my posts link, to no avail. No one is being funny out there right now. On the other hand, I have a new blog idea - "bus poetry." It's fun, easy and hilarious. You'll see. I also have some new forwards, but that ain't gonna happen for a while.

Anyone know someone reliable that might wanna house/dog/cat sit for a couple of weeks in August? It's a fly house, yo and some cute ass critters.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Holy night terrors batman

Last night I had a series of horrible dreams. The worst by far was, you guessed it, a bar exam fiasco. The exam was taking place in a huge hotel, in an elaborate section of an industrial complex. There were thousands of people taking the bar, and I found a seat next to my friend Elvis (who is taking the WA bar so shouldn't even have been there). Before the exam started, I needed to go to the bathroom several times. Each time I went, I got lost, either in the hotel or in the city. I eventually found my way back to my seat each time, but with great difficulty, never remembering where my seat was. Perhaps my subconscious concerned that with Steve gone I am lost?

Likely so, as I awoke from the next dream so angry at Steve, I wanted to hit him. Luckily he wasn't there.

Those dreams, that make you wake with lingering emotions, it is so difficult to separate life and dream land. I just wish my dreams were nicer than life. Life sucks hard enough as it is. I chalk it all up to lack of alcohol.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Have I mentioned lately...

How sweet and wonderful my boyfriend, Steve is? I just say "the roommate" cuz it's funny. Regardless, he has been amazingly patient throughout this bar exam fiasco that has been made ever more difficult by the ever-present irritants of life. But they go away and thankfully he doesn't.

He bought me a pizza today so that I could have something to eat all week. Likely that is all that I will be eating. Not really, but it has always been hard for me to eat when I'm stressed, just ask the past roommates that weren't putting out. I've lived on Slimfast for extended periods of time.

Any way, the boy has left for the weekend. Full time study, no excuses, no distractions, the final stretch, and this time next week, I hope I will be passed out in his arms.

Update: I always tell people to check the flight status before you leave the house for the airport. I did not heed my own advice. Steve's flight is delayed one hour. So he's stuck at the airport, with two hours to wait.

Another update: Watch out NY, there's one hella HOT GUY IN YO CITY!

And I thought I was crazy, this guy beats them all

Lonely Planet | Thorn Tree Travel Forum

Oppose John Roberts' Supreme Court Nomination

Again, an easy and quick way to tell those that are working for you to take a stand and do what is right. Oppose John Roberts' Supreme Court Nomination

Tuesday, July 19, 2005


I have successfully killed my entire second batch of SeaMonkeys!

This time, it took much less time, none of them grew to recognition and they weren't even dumped in the toilet. Kudos to me! I think I'll just stick to the yo-yo. Fish and plants are not something that should be entrusted to me.

On that note, I had a plant, Felix, that has lived with me for at least 10 years. He was the most patient fellow, could go months without being watered and then would grow with the faintest of sprinklings. Well, in an effort to transplant Felix, I used some bad soil (unbeknownst to me at the time), and though I tried just about every form of plant resuscitation, Felix is no longer. Like I said, plants and fish, watch out.

When you can't completely control the nominee,

pick the rich, white Haaavad guy. At least he's cute.

Ok, one funny thing today

Because there is a supermodel that dresses up her Sugar Bush (Squirrel)

This country

25,000 civilians' killed in Iraq

The roommate and I were discussing this issue the other day, that we as a nation are all in dismay over the loss of 50 or so lives in London. (Pardon if my numbers are wrong, I'm a bit busy these days.) Any loss of life is tragic. However, the very next day, 100 people died in a blast, and the day before, children, and the day before and after, many more. So, now these numbers. Do we care? No, we are racist and xenophobic. How many have we lost as a country, compared to being responsible for more than 7,500 of these deaths?

Another part of that discussion was in regard to those that live in countries that are killing in the name of Nationalism. That is what we are doing. Yet, the average citizen hasn't the ability to do a whole hella lot about it. So, please, history, do not judge me as harshly as most ignorant people judge the Germans citizens.

This is why I went to law school. To try and gain the skills that will allow me to affect some sort of change. Wish me luck.

Nothing funny to write about today.

Monday, July 18, 2005

keep on crackin

The noise from the front of the house was unbearable, so I went upstairs, to the rear of the house. Not so bad. I would go to University of Portland library, but I do enjoy being at home, mostly unclothed. All is well, until...

The rear neighbor decides it is time to play in the pool. The little girl screams and hollers and makes all kinds of noise. That's fine, that's what children do. Then they turn on the radio. They turn on some pop station and I have to listen to whiny boys and girls and the screaming girl in the pool.

So I go downstairs again, it's too hot upstairs anyway and I'm fine with that decision. I close windows on the rear of the house, and the construction is finished in the street. I'm doing fine here. However, the Polish neighbors have just decided to vacuum their house. This is a normal enough activity, but made unbearable by the fact that their Schaeferhund likes to howl while they vacuum.

I can't wait until the neighbor on the other side of the house gets home. Likely they will want to come over and smoke crack while their child runs around eating sugar cubes and shooting up.

It would be advisable that no one comes over to the house this evening.


On Friday evening, I received an e-mail from one Jeff Spencer (, who notified me that:

"After a comprehensive review of your backround, The Board must regrettably inform you that you do not have the requisite character and fitness to practice law in Oregon. "

With a little help from the roommate, I soon realized that the e-mail might not be real. Not, however, before a gate to HELL opened up underneath me and I teetered on its precipice. That's what ruined my weekend. No matter how much you tell yourself, after three years of hell and $120,000, those little words make one's soul die a little. Needlesstosay, I have spent some shitty nights until this morning when I received a response from the proper Oregon State Bar authorities, saying the most beautiful words:

"I can assure you that this is NOT a legitimate email. The Board of Bar Examiners has no concerns about your character and fitness."

(I'm hoping that they are refering to the above email, not really "this" one.)

So, I'm posting this to see if anyone out there in blog land knows who Jeff Spencer is, or whomever actually sent the original e-mail. It was a well-devised practical joke and I would sure like to thank the person who sent it.


This is what I just woke up to (the lovely sound of a jackhammer tearing up the street directly in front of my house). Confirmation that God does not want me to remain sane.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Hello everyone

Due to a little misunderstanding, I've had one hella shitty weekend. So, I'm going hiking today. Likely I will be hella more sane when I get back. Then back to the books, and trying not to kill anyone. I'm tired of studying and everyday question my life choices.

Update: Except for the jackhammers and the evil elements I feel hella better. See the hiking photos HERE.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Some bidness

I just changed all my links so that when you click on them, they will open up in another window. I'm not sure about it just yet, but chime in if it is either very annoying or really helpful. Hell, tell me what you do and do not like about my Blog, have a field day. However, patience please as I tweak my template.

More sea monkeys, just for Sara

There has been mysteriously introduced into the tank, you guessed it: THE BLACK DEATH. I do believe this is what killed them off the first time. I know, the dropping them in the toilet didn't help. However the only way to kill the PLAGUE is some sea monkey medicine that is seemingly unable to be purchased anywhere on the planet at the moment.

I'm cashing in my 2 year guarantee this time and gonna try and get new ones. Also, this time the tank goes into the dishwasher, with all the tools. (I just poured boiling water into the tank last time). If that doesn't work, then I'm done. The only explanation would be that it is in their food, or carried by the mutant ants that enjoy invading my home. Bastards!

I ate sushi tonight. Hopefully that will assist my brain functioning. Also, I've been crushing vitamins and putting them into the morning smoothies, to get us to take them. (We are so like children). Tumeric flavored smoothie is the BEST! Also, Crap, tell me about the effect of Omegas and fishes on my brain.

Oh hell!

US chief justice in hospital bed

Ok, sign me up. Boys, you in?

Scientology, What is it? - Foreword: "A civilization without insanity, without criminals and without war, where the able can prosper and honest beings can have rights, and where man is free to rise to greater heights, are the aims of Scientology. "

Sounds like a self-help group crossed with motivational therapy set in the guise of religion. A marketing Genius, that L. Ron.

So cute! Little cars have crashed into little Bonsai trees

Do this too

Tell Dubya to do what is right, for once, and not pander so damn much, the little pansy. Chatting with my boy last night, we realized that while I'm not so much in love with Clinton as he is, at least Billy wasn't a complete policy idiot, waging personal wars and hoodwinking the nation. Who comprises this nation? Idiots that believe this man's drivel. I'm going to hell for sure.
Tell Bush to stick it to Karl Rove.

Are you skeptical of the Patroit Act?

Then please take a second to fill this out, it will go to your Senators and Representatives, with little effort on your part. Act Now Before Congress Expands the Patriot Act.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005


I just do not feel like studying.

Oh, and just for the record, I hate poetry. It sucks. Don't write it. Unless it's a song that ROCKS!

My dentist is HOT!

I love him. And he gets all angry when I tell him my last Dentist was an asshole and denies messing up my tooth. He's got my back.

(Though he's not nearly as HOT as my boyfriend, who really does have my back and the rest of me too).

On the other hand, the scraper lady seems to be a nazi. The office now has TVs on the chairs, so that I can watch TV while being tortured. Full cable nonetheless. Sweet, except for everytime I changed the channel, she made a little gasp, and I love to channel surf so there was a lot of gasping. She kept looking at the TV, and commenting. She made one comment that really angered me, when a guy kissed another on a reality TV show (he did so to piss off a really macho man). She emits, "GROSS!"

I don't like hearing people's opinion when they are working on my mouth. My first dentist visit as an adult occured while I was working on a Senate campaign. He told me ad nauseum about how Republicans were the best people ever and I was working for the devil. That's not a good idea. I wrote a scathing letter to the school that referred him, and they took him off their list.

If you are working with people, it is best to just not talk about politics or religion, unless you are working with a Tate.

So I get to the channel with Regis and Kathy Lee Jr, and she is riveted by an interview with Susanne Summers, who then sings (I'm now gasping in horror). I don't dare turn the channel. I think she paused for 3 minutes to watch. Not a good idea people out there that own businesses, to have TVs on where your workers can look. It's like a big shiny sparkling diamond, that no one can look away from. Like a light for moths.

Worst of all, the dentist comes in before I change the channel, and Mr. Hottie now thinks I like watching Regis and Kathy Lee Jr. Damn that woman.

I just wanted my teeth cleaned.

Sunday, July 10, 2005


Ummm, nothing really has happened. I'm down to the wire studying for the bar, with one day for each subject group. From here on out, every day will be like the day before a final. That's a nice feeling. Relationships are strained more than ever, but patience is a virtue that seems prolific in my friends.

Thank goodness, because while I'm short and snippy, love keeps pouring in. Presently, Chloe is lying all over my notecards, making it impossible to do any work.

Sea Monkeys: are well, about 10-15 left, we'll see. Like I mentioned before, yo-yo's are my new obsession, I think it helps to run through concepts to the rhythm.

Yard work: The boys and I transformed our backyard into a splendor of nature, there went my Saturday. It will look a hella lot better when we get some grass to plant on the side, with the lawn doubling in size. For that I'm very excited. It's comfy now and enjoyable. The house just needs a coat of paint and will look rather dashing.

Injury: Oh, this is exciting: I kicked a soccer ball square into Fife's face the other day, causing him to pierce his tongue with his tooth. He won't go near the soccer ball anymore. Which is sad, as it was his favorite game. There seems to be a homing device in the ball, because whenever I kick it, up high or down low, the ball ends up going in his direction or landing on top of him. I guess soccer is just not my game.

Friday, July 08, 2005

My new obsession, just in time for the bar

Thanks to Meg for taking me to Wunderland, where I earned enough tickets to buy a super light-up yo-yo. Alas, it broke due to my vigorous yo-yo'ing. Steve was wonderful enough to take me to Freddy's last night 15 minutes before they closed to get this wonder of modern technology: F.A.S.T. YOYOS. I can do most of the tricks, moderately well, and am planning on learning more today while I listen to a CD on Criminal Procedure. You cannot imagine anything more fun!

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Happy Birthday

To PJR's new baby boy! Congratulations all around. Photos will be posted as soon as they are forwarded (hint, hint).

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

HAHAHA, he hates blogs

If these words were people, I would embrace their genocide.

I want this too. Hmmm, seems I need some consumer therapy.

Sea-Monkey® Speedway Challenge™

This is creepy. I was invited to join a text message service, which, upon reading the terms, decided I didn't want. This is the email they just sent:

J----', where did you go?

A few hours ago you attempted to join

You didn't complete registration, so we made it very easy for you to finish. Just click this link, and continue from where you left off (we've remembered all the information that you previously entered). You're only 10 seconds away from completing!

I am officially cracked

I have entered full on study for the bar mode. Just like before finals. I'm in top mental shape, but my emotional and psychological (and for some reason spelling) facilities are a mess. I apologize to all of you that may have to cross my path. My responses won't make sense, I'll be touchy and crabby and needy. But nothing you do will be right, so don't worry. This should (please Lord) be the last time I ever have to go through anything like this. Three weeks. I'll be done on July 28th, and then, well, I don't know what normal me is anymore, but I will be back to a semblance of myself. Pray for me, and the others that are taking this bastard of a torture test. I apologize again, because I know I'm gonna be a mess and will make an ass of myself. I'll try not to impose that person on anyone. It's hermit-time.

Ha Ha - said in voice of Simpson's Nelson

Bush bruised in bicycle crash

Earlier this year:

I'm kinda torn on this one

US reporter jailed in CIA trial. Is this an issue of freedom of the press, or is it the Bush administration trying to keep something hush-hush? Cuz if we're talking about freedoms, what the hell is more important, confidential sources (I should note, not even attorneys and doctors have total confidentiality with their clients/patients) or unlawful detentions? Scary, our principles.

Costa Rica is up...

See my photos.

Oh you kids are gonna love this one!

Remember how South Carolina had the largest number of racist organizations? Well, there is a movement to gather all the Christians there now. Not to fix the racism, but because they want to change the country one state at a time. Guess they figure they might as well start with the easiest state. Oh thank Jesus! If they are all in one place, a place I never need to return to, wouldn't that be lovely? Christian Exodus :: Come Out of Her, My People. And what is up with the title? Come out of her? Really? Is that the new non-contraceptive, anti-abortion solution? Better yet, on their letterhead, they quote the establishment clause, and don't seem to realize the irony in wanting to overthrow our government and exchange it for some nutcases that believe in their checklist of crap, all in the name of GOD.

Sail Hatan.

Monday, July 04, 2005

The ultimate puzzle

Stanford Digital Forma Urbis Romae Project Home If you can figure out how to deal with this information, it might be fun to try your hand at matching up the pieces. Good luck!

That's it!

Does anyone know of a reputable orthopedist, that specializes in hands, wrists, carpal tunnel? My left hand keeps going numb, the last tell-tale sign. I have to get to a doctor before my insurance runs out.

Our IP cliff notes are back!

Yeay, Nightsoil is back online.

Ok, if he can do it...

Napoleon 'tried to learn English' and I will try to learn Latin (or at least enough of it to pass the bar). I was really hoping that this article would give me some study tips, but I've just realized what I must do. Ignoring everyone else's tips are crucial. I have to just do what I did to get through law school, with some modification for the breadth of this material. OK, back on track, watch out now!

Friday, July 01, 2005

Law is so funny

As is the attempt to practice it:

1. Yesterday I got my a job rejection letter, three weeks after I already knew about not even getting an interview.

2. Today I got a packet from the Oregon Bar Association, graciously stating that they have decided I am worthy to take the Bar exam. Oh whew! I would be so pissed had they said anything else. Can you, we know you've been working your ass off for the last month and a half, but sorry, you can't take the Bar exam.

The speedy machine of justice marches ever onward.

How about this Ribbon for your SUV?

Bad Taste? Highly likely.

"Battle ahead for the soul of the nation"

Bye Sandra Oh God. Ok, this is the last straw. Now is the time to write to your Congressperson, tell them not to be pansys and please, please don't completely destroy this country. Oh, I'm so sad.

I found an easy way for all you slackers to get ahold of your Senators and tell them how you feel about the nomination.

On the other hand...I do have an application all ready to go.